The Word is “Love”
Growing up “love” was doled out as a precious commodity, like liquid gold squeezed out of an eye dropper, one drop at a time. It was reserved for parents and grandparents. Oh, we had a kind of substitute, “luv” which sounded like the real thing but wasn’t really. You’d write “Luv” on Valentines cards in the third grade.
Later, if you are fortunate, you add your spouse and children to the roster.
As I get older, I’m far more generous with the word. Still precious, “love” develops more depth, richness and character — now, more like fine wine.
At the age of 70, I’m amazed when I look back over events that happened 40, 50 or even 60 years ago. I didn’t walk (or fly) through those decades on my own.
There’s been a cast of characters along the way who shared joys, pranks, tragedies, passing of parents, moments of doubts and glee, driving school, football games, proms, graduations, plays concerts, days at the beach, late night conversation in dorm rooms, banana splits at Farm Shop, a cup of coffee at Rapp’s and vacations. Those with whom you shared life’s discoveries and were an ear and voice at times when you needed both. They were by your side at work and play and in studios. Some you still see; some not so often. Some go back to childhood and some you meet along the way to now.
But they were always in your thoughts and in your memories. And people you really care about.
What I’ve learned is I have an abundance of people I genuinely love. And unlike gold and wine, there isn’t a limit of love to go around. Love isn’t watered down in meaning or emotion by the number of people in the club.
I’ve also learned that it is important to let them know. And my guess is it will always be returned and returned with meaning.
It is the beauty of age that enables you to see and unabashedly express love for another human being without embarrassment or fear.
And once you express it, you’re actually enriched. Your world gets a little bigger, a little brighter and a little closer. There is now a pact that another human cares about you and you about them.
Among others, who I’ve expressed love to, were my brothers, Ken and Mark on a recent Zoom call. And both immediately responded in kind. It was a great moment. But I realized that that was probably the first time we said that to each other, perhaps, in our lives.
Side effects of this pandemic are introspection and retrospection, at least for me. I’m fully aware that I’ve lost a year and counting, and a year is a larger chunk of time than it was 20 years ago or even 5.
There certainly has been an awful lot of loss this year. No one has been untouched.
Telling someone you love them, though, is not a reaction to the pandemic. This isn’t one of those do-it-before-it’s-too -late admonishments.
But it does give one pause to think about what is really important and when it comes down to it, it’s the people you love that matter.
And now it’s time to let them know.
Love,
Barry
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